I can't believe you did it. You gave him that. You loved him and gave him that that's so f**ked up! So what, now everything for me is in seconds isn't it? No matter what I do with you, where I go, it's all the second timer isn't it? When is ever gonna be the time you do something that's a first for me!? You know how hard this is for me? Do you have any idea?? So what, am I supposed to start being demanding too? Oh god I can't believe it..I can't believe it. Anything else I don't know? Besides that I'll always be your second for everything. Why. Why? I can't..oh god. HE'S A BASTARD. HE'S A GODDAMN BASTARD HE'S SICK IN THE MIND AND DELUSIONAL. F*** YOU! He stole your childhood, he made you grow up way too fast, he broke you and left you there so now whenever you hug me I'm cut by the edges. But that's okay Sabby, it's all okay, I've given up caring about being the first. I'll never be your first in anything as much as I want to be. I can just hope you don't think I'm a child for not doing what he did, for actually enjoying the little pleasures and being retarded sometimes. It's okay Sabby, I can live with this truth, at least you told me so I wouldn't be living a lie. I don't care if it hurts me or whatever, I'm not gonna let you fall apart. Even if it's not for me, you've got so much to live for. I love you Sabby, I truly truly want to be here for you and hopefully one day forget all that's done. It's too late now. I can't change anything, but no matter how broken you are I'll love you with all the little bits and pieces. I love you Sabby, so much it hurts me sometimes, but I'm not leaving you.