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posted : Friday, 6 January 2012
title : I'm A Nightmare, A Disaster.
 It's the same feeling, as when we were sitting there on the sweat-specked floor, nervously waiting for our turn in to be individually talked to by our NCOs. We watched on as one by one our platoonmates returned from the tennis court staircase, some were smiling, some were crying, most expressionless. We knew the talk wasn't gonna kill us, and hardly ever would it break us, but we feared how we would react to what was being asked, afraid that we wouldn't know the right thing to say. It's the feeling of uncertainty, that very thought that every single word I will say would hold a consequence to itself. It's the same feeling today. I don't want to know, but I need to know. The thoughts about it are driving me crazy, but I'm quite sure that at least one of these crazy thoughts will become reality today. I don't understand why it has come to this, what beast has suddenly lunged at us till we topple into the other path. The question is whether this path leads to the same destination. Why the hell did... Nevermind. I'll only have five and a half hours more of dragging my heart around on a chain till I leave my house to find the answers. Forget that, I'll leave my heart in a corner, yeah beat for yourself you stupid piece of shit. I know you'll do what's best. I care about you. I'm not sure where anything is coming from. Whatever comes, I'll try to take it in the best way I can. I'll let the numbness set in and I won't break down. Time please hurry or I'll tear myself apart before the words can. |
It's best to keep it short and sweet. (:
