I really hope you don't read this first thing in the morning because i'm scared i'm gonna spoil your mood. That's the thing about being so far away from you, i can't just, you know, hug you better or have unlimited time with you. Our time together is like, we talk for the whole day, yet we struggle to talk about so many things before the day ends. And what that means is that there are unspoken words, words that you and i may have wanted to say but can't due to time limitations. We rush too much, really. We jump from topic to topic real fast because we just wanna get everything off our minds, and sometimes to me at least, I feel as if i haven't even finish talking about something then jump topic already then when it keeps happening i quickly lose interest to put my heart into talking because i feel that i may get cut off anyway. But i don't want to feel like that, i want to be really interested and happy talking to you like how i usually am. And sometimes, when you're upset and i try to cheer you up or listen to you, then after my many failed attempts and doing so, you suddenly go something like "you're so sweet! _______ always like that one i just enjoyed her being gone xD" then i'm just like damn now i look like a fool for putting heart and soul into comforting you and trying so hard to make you feel better, so is it really upsetting or not? i'm a hypocrite, i do this sometimes as well. but im a hippobrite, shall tstop heat for noe, hmmm.

*1 Jan update: HAHAHAHAHA at my last sentence wth I can't believe I wrote that! I think i last night like a bit strange one actually. Anyway I realise that the part about the "oh so sweet ..." quite hard to understand, what I mean is that like you seem so upset and stuff then sometimes you suddenly xD then I'll be like okay so are you really upset but trying to lighten the mood, or I just really fail at comforting you, or you feel okay ready or what. Yeah that's it, wish I could tell you this in person instead but it's a little hard to control the mood since I'm so happy when I'm with you.

And, I won't scare you again. I'll let you know if I got annoyed again. I was a jerk yesterday because I was being selfish, I hardly considered your feelings and I'm really sorry for that. I love you sabby.

And please please please take care. Get well soon darling. I'll be here.