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posted : Wednesday, 9 November 2011
title : She just needs someone to take her home.
 I wish you could get happier. soon. i want to trust that you say you won't do anything to yourself, but i once said that too. Look what happened. It must be so hard for you to go through this shit right now, and i don't know i feel bloody helpless. sure i can make you happy but that's when we're together, and lets face it, your mom doesn't trust me and my parents don't want me to have anything to do with you. I know it'll all get better, but how much can you take? You say i'm your strength, but what happens when I'm not around? I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to you. I promise you everything will be okay but i don't know how much more you can go through, how much more you can take before you break. please don't. please. i love you so much it hurts, i know its pretty cheesy coming from me but who the hell cares, i just can't lose you, to anyone, anything. no i just cant. don't lose faith, don't lose heart, we'll make it through this i promise. i'll never give up on you, so please don't give up on yourself. i know life's pretty rough, but it does get better trust me, I've been there, lost all i had, friends, family, self, everything. i hated myself. i was blind to everything people good people said about me. i was insane, locking myself in my room, sitting and rocking back and forth on the floor, punching walls till my hands were bruised, crying, scratching, slashing, tearing at my face and body, telling myself what a terrible person i am, beating myself up black and blue. Thought about jumping off from my aircon outside my window, about dashing across the street or just standing there in the way of fast cars, wishing a car would just swerve to the side and hit me, not sleeping or eating for a few days in a row, wishing a building could just collapse on me. but it got better eventually. through all the pain, i learnt that i wanted to be there for anyone who needs me. Which is exactly what my mom hates about me. I'm gonna do it anyway, even if its in secret. Just know that you will get better if you open up and allow yourself to, hang on and enjoy the little things in life that make you happy, its really the littlest things that bring light. Don't be afraid to talk, I'm always here for you, I'm always around even if I'm not physically there. I don't know if you're truly okay, at night especially, but don't you ever hurt yourself, i'll hurt myself if you do. It pains me to know that you think of this, it makes me feel so helpless, it makes me feel so afraid that you'll do something to yourself without me knowing. Don't ever lie to me please, we'll ride through this storm, together. i know you're tired, i know we're both hurt, but you know as much as i do that we both need each other. i'm yours and you're mine remember? what the hell would i do without you? i'll be your strength if you stay strong for me. promise. pinky swear. i love you sabby. there'll be beauty from pain. |
It's best to keep it short and sweet. (:
