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posted : Tuesday, 15 November 2011
title : Pain
 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS WRONG WITH ME. WHICH BLOODY IDIOT ISNT THERE WHEN THE PERSON THEY LOVE MOST NEEDS THEM?! YEAH OBVIOUSLY I CAN TELL SOMETHING IS WRONG WHEN SHE TALKS TO ME WITHOUT PUNCTUATION. AND SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE NIGHT OF THAT, ALONE. GO AND DIE MIMI YOU SUCK. I don't blame her if she hates me or is damn pissed at me right now, yeah I'd be pissed at someone for ditching me at my time of need too. Even I can't forgive myself for this. I swore to myself to always be there for sabby, where was I yesterday?! I pray to god she's okay cos I know she's strong enough to make it through this. I love her so much but it doesn't show through, see. I can't even get into her blog to see what's wrong, that sucked, I mean, I really had no way of reaching her yesterday night but I could have tried. I had no idea she was talking to him yesterday, I thought what, Wednesday meant today. I hate myself for this. Sabby please be alright, please forgive me. Did I overreact? I'm writing this awhile after, after sabby replied. She said it's okay how could she get mad since my mom confiscated my phone, but I don't know if she's just saying it yaknow, i'd be glad if she meant it. It's amazing how someone you didn't know 3 months back now has the power over all your feelings, when she's sad, you're sad, when she's happy, you're happy, when she's upset, you share her pain. She can save me or break me. Another thing is that I think hanzhen should seriously stop laughing when other people are upset, I get that she's trying to lighten the mood and it does help when you're trying to get happier, but when you need to pour feelings out, no it's not funny. Maybe she's just tired of the people around her confiding in her. Maybe. |
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