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posted : Tuesday, 22 November 2011
title : 22/11/11
 I don't know what to think. What happened today was nothing I had planned in my mind. Yeah I know it's stupid to plan things in your mind cos they most likely won't come true, but really, it was totally unexpected. Today was a blurry mess between too many people, too many distractions, and not enough time. When we arrived to meet sabby, everyone was there, families, teachers and friends alike, all buzzing in a flurry of activities. We could hardly even talk to the choir people cos they kept getting briefings and stuff plus they had to stay in their sections so it was hard to talk to them since everyone was so packed. So we just sat around and suddenly just like that, all of them had to leave to go check in their luggage. Sabby said she'll come back out but as time ticked by, we realised we had to go real soon. Plus I couldn't get through to her phone so that made her uncontactable. Then finally I received this call from and unknown number and turns out, it was sabby so I went to meet her. She had to go back to her section so the time was so damn limited. I wanted her all to myself then, but like, I know it's unfair that the others came all this way and didn't get to see her, but just as I was gonna call them, I turned and they were THERE. i felt quite bad la of course, like I purposely never tell them liddat, but then again part of me was like damnnn now we can't do anything at all. So we just stood there awkwardly and sabby gave each of them a hug (I got mine before that ready) and the awkward moment when sabby said "sorry guys only Mimi gets a card cos she's special" I don't know it's kinda awkward cos they don't know we're close after all. Then I politely, or so I thought, told them I'd catch up with them later and I was gonna talk to sabby first. Our 'talk' was more of a hurried rush to exchange stuff I suppose, and well, we hardly talked at all. As in proper talking. Yeah, then she hugged me, for what I felt was pretty short, but well, better than nothing. She smelled like her today, but stronger, and like, I could stay there forever, but all good times end and we had to go our own separate ways. It ended so quick, it was almost as if it never started. It felt so surreal, like a dream. Our goodbyes were simple, nothing extravagant, but the only difference was that with this goodbye, there was something gone, like a piece of my heart had been ripped off and taken away with sabby as she left, leaving just a little bit of pain and hollowness inside. The kind of hollowness that brings you down to your knees and just feel too uninterested to do anything, like you'll only be shallowly happy until that need is fulfilled. Like what sabby said, sometimes when we're apart, we don't feel whole, that's just it, but I'm not going to let that get me down. I'm going to be productive at least, and make full use of the time. There was a dull ache, but I think it was a good ache, like reminding me that she would be back soon, if I waited enough. It was a reminder that everything will be okay if I endured through this, if I was patient. This wasn't the goodbye I had hoped for, but really, it's the little imperfections that I live for. As I'm writing this, sabby's probably waiting for her flight now, slowly getting further and further away from me. But that's alright, because as much as I miss her now, I know she's gonna come back to me, then we can continue being yours and mine, forever. Have a safe trip sabby, take care, I love you. |
It's best to keep it short and sweet. (:
