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posted : Tuesday, 4 October 2011
title : Personal Soldier
 first and foremost, HAPPY MARIANAS TRENCH DAY!!:D options have been rather boring but i swear it pisses me off when people keep ponning, i mean, at least its better than normal lessons right? you cant expect them to let us slack around or anything, but at least what we're doing in options is interesting so we should at least make the most out of it. not every school has options even. other than that, i've found myself blogging less, cos i've been on the com less (lazy wanna turn on cos it takes super long to boot up), i've been spending more time on tumblr and facebook, and well basically i think about stuff to blog about alot of times, but when i actually turn on the com, i get damn sian to do it so yeah hahah. ming hui is sick, she's throwing up, i hope she feels better soon, i'm not texting her cos i'm hoping that she's asleep or resting or something, cos she has exams tomorrow, and the day after and so on. i'm seriously starting to care about her more and more, like example, i got super stressed out to the point where i didn't want to sleep because she's sick. as in me and her now have this sis and bro thing going on, but it seems to be more than that, i'm watching out for her more than what a brother would do. plus it kinds of upsets me cos i want to like yuhua, but i'm not sure if she still likes me. as in on her tumblr got all these rainbow pics la, but it might be just that she likes them or something, not necessarily have to do with me one. and vivian (YES WE'RE TALKING AGAIN!!) told me that chiu's going out to watch movies with any random guy who asks her on facebook, i don't know, it seems quite annoying to me. i really wanna like her again so bad, i miss liking her, but we've been seeing each other damn little these days, cos of my options and her exams and our timetables, and no training, plus she nowadays always come late to school one, so i don't see her in the canteen ): so there's no interaction. i so can't wait until eoys are over, then can have nco outing (: ming hui says that the only reason i might consider her is because i don't feel secure with yuhua, and i guess in a sense its quite true. she still likes me, i think. as in she says she only likes me as a brother, but i think there's more to that, and i feel quite upset when she said that she won't feel right trying anything on me cos she knows i like yuhua so it's very bad like she's seducing or something. i don't know, i feel like i hurt her a lot. at the same time, whenever she talks about how good jingjing is, i feel damn jealous, especially when she compares us, i am nothing like that girl so be it. its like jingjing is a threat to my dominance, i like being unique, i don't like that someone else is like me. it makes me feel so replaceable. by a girl. on the bright side though, vivian and i are talking and she's been teaching me math. i'm damn surprised and touched by how patient she is with me, knowing that i am a damn slow learner and didn't know the answer to any of the questions she set me. she slowly went through every single one of them with me, and took the effort to take extra steps to help me understand, and i know its not her style cos she usually just skip steps those kind. i'm glad to have her back as my friend. (: another thing i get touched by is how ming hui puts in so much effort in organizing stuff neatly for me. how she's such a good girl. when i left my jacket in a heap outside the room, and she was scared that it might get wet if it rains over the weekend, i expected her to just move it into the shelter, but no, she folded it so nicely, i was so touched. and when she lent me her tie too, she even used a paper to wrap around (nicely, mind you!) and write my name on it.i even felt bad for not taking the paper cos it seemed like a didn't appreciate it, but i was scared if i took it out, the whole tie would come off. and she tied the tie wonderfully too. oh i love girls, who can care, cook and clean (as in do this kind of girl thing), and who wear boys' and girls' clothes (: if you look through this blog from the start till the end, you'll notice how fast i get attached to a girl and losing her soon after. i'm such a player :P |
It's best to keep it short and sweet. (:
