Best viewed in Google Chrome, screen resolution 1280 x 1024.
Do not put too much content under each header or else some of the content could not be seen.
|
posted : Wednesday, 13 July 2011
title : Now we both end up, bruised and brokenhearted
 You'll never change Cause I can't say no We need a break But you're making it so tough, To give you up You know I'll never get enough I don't know what got over me those days, really, guess i was pissed and stressed and fed up and the part i cant tell you is that, it kills me how you show other people your stuff and happily explain things to them, but when i try to look, you whine at me to go away and whine like i'm annoying. With the rest, you lean on them, hug them, hold hands with them and so on. To me, you're like avoiding being close to me, its like, i still remember damn clearly, when we were supposed to tell our partners our moral values, i was partnered to someone "forgot who" and you were with lavinya beside us. then since we finished early, lavinya was like "ehh lets switch partners, i go with "forgot who", then you two can go together" then two of them laughed and you were like "noooooo!!" what was that supposed to mean? but no, thats you in school. outside school, away from the view of friends and classmates, you ask me how my day went, asked me to go out study with you, confide all your problems in me. speaking of which, you asked me to go out studying with you, i agreed, sure. then you said you were busy so i was like okay, tell me when youre not busy so i can go over to meet you and you were like aww over that and whatnot. but that was behind the scenes. Then in school, when i asked about going out to study, you totally avoided the question. why are you acting so differently when there are people around?? am i embarassing to be friends with???? maybe you think, oh well its just a joke to tell me to go away, you dont mean it and i'll get over it. well ok, i accept it as a joke, but not all the time please. i have my bad days too, and feeling unwanted is only making me feel worse. you know i have low self esteem and not that many good friends in class, am i really just overreacting? And fish, yeah i know you care about her alot and you're pretty protective of her, but please please don't get into this. i dont hate you or anything, and it really sucks to see your expression change when you see me around school. and it just hurts when you respond to my msn message of "why you dao me?" with an msn pm of "i wouldnt, but have you any idea how you're hurting her?" i have no idea if you directed that at me, even though gut feeling says you did, but honestly. in all true honesty, i had no idea. maybe a little pissed, yeah, but not hurt. why would she get hurt by someone telling her they need a timeout? someone that she doesnt even want to be close to? and what sucked is that, that morning, you told me you'll always be there for me. when i told you what she did, did that cause you to stop talking to her? of course not. then why did her side of the story cause you to COMPLETELY ignore me?? and it was so sudden.. if you had wanted things to get better, scolding me would have been good, but i guess this fight was just a good excuse for you to ignore me. on the other hand, papers today were.. english the summary i think i just crapped it out, scared got not enough points! And the questions were quite screwed also, like im used to giving 6-7 line answers so when i give 3-4 liners i feel damn awkward, like im not explaining enough. chem was fine, even though the interval thing im not really sure if its right cos i dont recall us doing any experiment like that. mt the question was easy but im bloody scared that i didnt answer the question, like my point was off or something, and the thing is, i realised only halfway through writing the essay so i couldnt go restart again -.- kns wants npcc to be conducting specs. i dont get it, he's in charge of ncc land, why does he keep pushing for npcc to take over OUR appointments?? and firstly, they dont even KNOW the damn drills, like how to command all that. surely we should give the chance to better commanders rather than push them just for "equality". plus, putting them as conducting specs only means i have to train them on how to command all that, and given 3 trainings,definitely not enough time, and i have better things to do like oversee all the procedures and making sure everything goes smoothly, if he wants to save time, then give it to the people who KNOW how to do it damn it. other than that, they are sec 2s, they have 2 more years to go. we're sec 4s, this is our last year in school, last major parade, why not give us the chance to take on appointments? also, they are NPCC. POLICE. well you don't see police officers being conducting specs do you? plus sec 2 NPCC-ers. theyre not even SPECIALISTS damnit. how to be conducting specs if theyre not specs themselves?? same thing happened with colors rsm. if you want to follow the original ndp itself, trust me, there is no RSM from police. another thing, they dont have a pace stick, and theyre not sergeant majors, so by right they cant use the pace stick and technically why are they regimental SERGEANT MAJORS when theyre not even SERGEANT MAJORS in the first place. utter bullshit. and summore, they dont even know how to do the drills properly yet cos they just started learning arms drills, dont put so much pressure on them can? dont get me wrong, i have nothing against npcc, my friends are from npcc, but if you want to be like the original NDP, one, follow standard appointments, and two, let the appointment holders be those who actually deserve it. i mean seriously, the saf doesn't specifically train up LCPs to be parade commander or something. gah. you tell me to concentrate on my work. you're the one giving me bullshit. stop. being. desperate. but on a lighter note, vivian slapped me across my eyes today, funny la she, so unexpected from her haha. shall do that the next time i see her, but not slap la, cover only. apologising to jermaine tomorrow. hope for the best. |
It's best to keep it short and sweet. (:
