What did i do wrong now?

i thought i made everything right again, i apologised to you personally, you laughed it off and said you're fine, you told me to relax. "i'm just like that". -thats what you said.

yeah sure, to people who don't know us, what do they see us as? friends, couple, God knows what else. they tell me to get over you, that you're not worth the pain and the tears. sometimes i feel that i should just take their word for it. but then i feel selfish. i feel like i just ignored everything you've done for me. i need you.

you were the only one i trusted with for certain things, things that i wanted to keep away from anybody else. you were the only one who knew what i was, and you accepted and loved me for it.
you were different from my friends, the people i was supposedly the closest to. when i was freaking out like hell over the change in command and was just waiting there alone behind the stage, did any of them say good luck or anything? no. but then you ran all the way up from your class line, ignoring all the weird looks from people, just to give me a hug. you told me i'll do great, and even if i didnt, i'd be awesome anyways.
you were the one i could rant to about anything, you were so patient with me and was always there to give me advice.
you were the only one who SAID that i impacted your life. for someone with self esteem issues like me, that realy meant a lot. thank you.
you were the one i could build fantasies with without ever feeling awkward,remember our dream seaside house with swings and a giant chocolate fountain? remember our plans to duet "somebody to love" after ord parade?
you were the one i could talk to continuously, from 8 in the morning, to 4am the next day.
you were the one i could call beautiful or gorgeous, and actually made you feel that way.
you were the only one who could make the sun shine through on a cloudy day. with a simple text message, you could instantly make my day.
i know im not the kind people would hug. people call me scary, say that i dont like hugs etc. but you ignored all that. you were the first to hug me without me asking. you made me feel wanted, that i was actually loved.
you were the only one to believe in me and told me to stay strong no matter what.

you told me everything was gonna be okay.

i hurt you, i pissed you off, but i thought after that everything was okay. we even talked normally for a coupla days after. what happened? was it something i said, or something i never did, or was i always in the way? now you wont reply my texts, on msn, and you hardly even acknowledge my presence at school. yeah, i know i dont talk to you in school either, but i dont know, when you look at me with blank eyes, i just dont know what to do. i'm sorry.

i hope youre happy, really, even if im not, cos thats really all that matters. maybe one day we'll find it in us to be acquaintances again (: till then, just know that i still miss you, no matter how much i try to cover it up. stay strong, stay happy, i'll always be here.